Disclaimer: don't read the last part if you don't like stories about pimples bursting. And definitely don't look up "World's Largest Pimple" on Youtube. You were warned.
Mum: do you want some cheese?
Mum: Don't. Please don't sing the cheese song.
Me: Cheese is a kind of meat, a tasty yellow beef
Me: I milk it from my teat, but I try to be discreet
Dad: (not looking up from the paper) ahahaha that's disgusting
Mum: no. NO! YOU ARE HORRIBLE! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
Me: We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind-
Brother: (literally jumping into the room and skipping towards mum) 'cos your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well they're no friends of mine!
(Both start doing the "safety dance")
Mum: NO. NO. NO. SHUT UP.
Mum: LA LA LA, CAN'T HEAR YOU
Brother: Oh my God have you seen the world's largest pimple video on Youtube?
Brother: Do you want to?
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
(Both watching it in horrified fascination)
Me: (dry gagging) That is horrendous.
Mum: What are you doing? OH MY GOD THAT IS REPULSIVE
Brother: What? YOU SAID 'TURN THE VOLUME UP'?
Mum: (going pale) NO I'm being serious, please turn it off
Brother: IT WON'T GO ANY LOUDER. OH GOD LOOK AT IT, IT'S EXPLODING ALL OVER THE PLACE, I CAN NEVER EAT COTTAGE CHEESE AGAIN
Mum: NO NO NO TURN IT OFF THAT'S DISGUSTING I CAN'T STAND IT, OKAY THAT'S IT GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!
Dad: (walks in, stops dead to stare at us) What the hell are you three doing?