At the moment my family is scattered all over the place. My Mother is in France for a few months, gallivanting about and eating almond croissants. I tried to Skype her and accidentally scared the nice French lady she is staying with.

My brother is at Uni. He lives on campus, has started drinking beer and recently painted himself blue for an Avatar-themed party. His entire college have been banned for life from Mini Waters.
My Dad (ever the rational thinker) assumes my brother is selling drugs to afford alcohol. I think he is good at budgeting and most likely drinks a lot of goon.

I recently flew home for a few days and got to spend time with my Dad. We played the x-box, drank beer and watched Aliens vs. Predators 1 & 2. Much coffee was consumed. Without my Mum around, I noticed my Dad (who already swears quite a bit) has replaced most of his vocabulary with "fucking cunts".

We went for a few walks and being a small coastal town, every single person knows Dad and wants to have a good old catch-up on the side of the road. Roughly 3 people recognised me, probably due to Dad "forgetting" to introduce me a lot of the time. Most people gave me strange looks, which I assumed was due to my lack of tan. However, Dad recently told me a few people have mentioned the young woman he's been seen with since my Mum has gone overseas, hinting at him having an affair.

Dad thinks this is hilarious and has decided to play dumb, occasionally dropping comments about his friend "Helga" visiting from Germany.