Drunk guy: See, once your hair is gone, it's all downhill from there (grabs bald friend, points to his head) see, this guy's got nothing. Me? (points to small bald patch) I still have some good times ahead of me.

Drunk guy: (pointing at someone wearing a Beatles t-shirt) fuck Ringo Starr!

Drunk guy: (to me, after complimenting my friends shirt) why aren't you wearing a Bruce Lee shirt? You'd be fucking amazing if you were wearing a Bruce Lee shirt. You two would be so cool. I'll make a shirt, and it will have Bruce Lee pissing on a wall on it. You should buy it. Do me a favour, if you see a cat on the way home I want you to kick the shit out of it. Can you do that for me?