Sunday, April 4, 2010

I Get Chicks

Guy at bar: Hey. Do you want to dance?
Me: Okay
Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No
Guy: What's your name?
Me: It's Alex!
Guy: My name's Sam! Nice to meet you Alex
Me: Hey my brother's name is Sam!
Guy: (Looks uncomfortable) Oh My God, really?
Me: Yeah! and he's adopted! I haven't seen him in years! You might be him!
Guy: Uh... yeah. I have to (gestures in opposite direction, leaves)
My friend: Alex, you frighten me sometimes, you know that?

Some kid: Hi!
Me: Hi! I'm Alex!
Some kid: Hi Alex! Guess what my name is! Think guy in stripy shirt who goes missing a lot!
Me: OH MY GOD YOUR NAME IS WALLY!? I FOUND WALLY! (Yelling at my friends) GUYS I FOUND WALLY! (I start sending mass text message: "I found where's wally!!!") THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
My friend: Where'd Wally go?
Me: Oh, I didn't even notice he was gone!
My friend: Well played, Wally. Well played.

Me: I was just impressed by a guy on the premise of him wearing an ironic KFC shirt before realising my error and making a quick escape. It's time for me to go.
My friend: When Mel face-planted into the dancefloor and you started doing the macarena to Marilyn Manson I knew this night had started to turn.

Guy on side of the road: LET'S GET A KEBAB
Guy crazy eyes: A KEBAB!?
Guy on side of the road: YEAH A KEBAB
Guy with crazy eyes A FUCKIN' KEBAB?
Guy on side of the road: YES!!!

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