When I was 16, my male friends decided they'd had enough of being single. Eventually they turned to me for advice. What with my shaved head, penchant for swearing, lack of social skills and general hatred of anything remotely feminine, this was a remarkable display of desparation. It was like the moment in Harry Potter, when Ron needs a partner for the Yule ball, and he turns to Hermione and says “But you’re a girl”.
Always the lady, I’d roll my eyes. “Harden the fuck up, you’ll be fine. Shall we get a goon sack?"