I remember in early high school when Physical Education was mandatory... those were the days. That is, the days of humiliation and pain.

PE was basically a cesspit of students, predominantly featuring the aggressive, popular kids and the non-athletic reclusive types, such as myself, and then arming us with hockey sticks. The world was still a sunny place and I had not yet decided I wanted everyone at my school to die in a fiery blaze. Being a chubby kid my teachers took no interest in me despite the fact that I always tried hard, volunteered first, and wasn't a half bad team player. Every term I'd take home the same report; "Alex would do well to improve her overall health and fitness". In year 10 I re-emerged much lighter and a good 4 inches taller. This was due to a rigorous lifestyle change (I had a Twin Peaks addiction and regularly forgot to eat while watching it). Suddenly my PE teacher could remember my name and I took home a positively glowing report, despite the fact that I'd long stopped making contact with any sports equiptment, or even bringing my uniform on a consistent basis.

To this day there is a dejected little fat kid inside of me that still feels bitter, and hopes all asshole P.E. teachers are forced to a special place in hell where they have to stand on hot coals and eat each others eyeballs, while listening to Nickelback.