I've learn a lot of students seem to exist simply to sit around campus looking ridiculously attractive and intimidating.
There are actually existing people who talk like this: "Oh wowww, did you go to that lecture about Degas? The metaphors he used in his work were amaaaaazing. Just, like, totally bananas. He was brilliant, you know? The colours, the symbolism... Oh my God, just soooo incredible... I love it, he's a genius man."
People need to have it explained to them that coffee is actually not just an extension of the typical art students' body, and that it is indeed considered a liquid fit for consumption, therefore not advisable to have near expensive electronics.
There are lecturers who will...
-Tell you they haven't left their house in eight weeks
-Inform you that art students these days are too meek ("What, you think the med students are going to start a riot with their stethoscopes?")
-Tell a story of how they were once arrested for filling an entire staff room with scrunched-up newspaper
-Strongly advise you to "get good at bullshitting very quickly"
-Mention that most of the other lecturers at the college are pretentious wankers
-Present a lecture on Dadaism by running into the room with a coat over their head in front of 400 students while screaming gibberish, then remove their pants.